My first few days in Boulder were nice. I was busy and had enough to do in terms of loitering about and meeting people apart from Univ work that it just did not feel odd. But yesterday, when I woke up, it felt somewhat odd. I woke up quite late to an empty house and a knot in my stomach…

All day, despite being with friends, I felt odd. After all, there’s only so much that friends can do specially since they probably don’t know you’re in an odd state of mind…

In the evening, I talked to my brother and in just a few short words, he told me something that holds true to the point that in no time, I knew that everything will be OK no matter what. He said –

It’s just a matter of time,
When things fall in line
and everything will be fine
and that’s just a rhyme!

For some reason, we forget that there are a lot of people whom we think are not approachable or that we cannot express ourselves to them. But we can and should. There’s always going to be help, from friends or family or even some random stranger writing on a Blog…

It’s tough being in a new place completely on your own, even if it doesn’t hit you immediately or you’re not able to express it properly… But it’s not impossible to pass through it unharmed. Just reach out and get someone to hear you out in any way possible!

In Silence

In shed my tears in silence

I shed them in pain

I shed them for the pride I lost

I shed them in vain

No angels came to wipe my tears

And the tears kept coming back

No angels came to talk to me

But the tears never turned their back

The world left me behind

Ran farther in the race

Even people who showed up after me

Showed only once their face

I died a thousand deaths that day

And grew a million years old

Yet not a trickle of sense came to me

Nor did I become bold

I walked in the dust, the dawn, the dusk

I thought I was followed by friends

Yet walked not they fore or aft

Not with or past or near the farthest ends

I called myself the Lucky One

For I had many a friend

Yet when I tried to choose a special one

Not one was left with me at end

Neither time nor tide stood by me

Yet I cared not at all

But surprised I was when not even my near ones

Stood when I took my fall

I thought I was special

I thought I was gifted

But when I saw that everyone was normal

I knew I was no more than a misfit

I proudly flowed along the tide

Thinking I had found the right way

But had I flowed against the rush

I would be someone else today

I envy my that other self

Loathe him yes I do

For he would have had his way always

And I can only want to

But afraid I am

For when I went

Against the beaten path

They told me I had broken those rules I knew I had only bent

I thought myself to be a fool

To not listen to others

Yet so much did I listen to them

That no one no more bothers

I don’t know if I’m a loser

Or just a lazy bum

But I do know I did what they said

Yet I’m still not their chum

I’m lost

For I followed them

When I was to make my own

And now I stand w/o a friend, it’s now either me or them

Love Me Because…

Love Me because, i know i’m faulty

BUT Love Me because, i know you’re my fix 

Love Me because, i broke your heart.

BUT Love Me because, i know i can fix it

Love Me because, i dont understand

BUT Love Me because, i want to

Love Me because, i wasn’t there when you needed me,

BUT Love Me because, i wanted to be there

Love Me because, i make excuses

BUT Love Me because, i don’t make them when i’m there

Love Me because,  i think its my fault

BUT Love Me because, deep down i know its mine

Love Me because, i don’t console you when you cry

BUT Love Me because, i cry with you myself

Love Me because, i waste time on things other than you

BUT Love Me because, i do everything i do for you

Love Me because, there aren’t enough ways to tell how good you are

AND Love Me because, out of them i know a few

My Mistakes

I am confused,

Is my love forlorn?

Every step I take,

I make a mistake.

Every word I say,

it causes dismay.

Outside it rains,

but inside it only pains.

My tears turn back on me,

Even they believe its not meant to be.

I don’t know how to react,

In what way to act.

I hope its not,

My final fault.

That I may correct,

my mistakes and inject

that love so true,

back in me and you

By my heart I swear,

to let you know, I care…


Man is a machine
But thats not the whole scene
God made his fault
It hit us like a lightening bolt
They gave us emotions
To put in motion
Our own fall
An unclimbable wall
Now we’re broken
Life’s just a concession
For this pain
Its gonna rain
Blood some day
Until then in every way
We wait unspoken