Listen, we have a problem. We definitely have a problem. Since quite some time now I have been getting the vibe that I don’t like You. I know, I know, I am just adorable and you can’t stop loving me but hey, sometimes one may have a dislike for, you know, lesser people. So I just wanted to tell you that I have a dislike for you. I know you worship me but come on, sometimes I also need my space you know. Anyways, I just wanted to talk to you coz I thought that maybe we’ll sort out our differences so that you can love me even more. So here goes…
Look, in life, at times, there are points and places where one reaches and feels that there has been no lower point in one’s life. This deep abyss is a place of very low self-esteem and the realization of a sickening reality that perhaps you are not worth anything to anyone and this life you are living has been a farce and will continue to be so for much time to come. I believe that as a friend, it is my responsibility to ensure that YOU get out of this cage which you have put yourself into. Just understand this my friend, if ever you want to cry your heart out or need to speak to someone about the problems in your life or just express yourself and your pain, remember, you are Alone! Don’t expect me to come running to help you, I’m way too busy for that! I’m not going to be available 24/7 you know, I have a life too after all. I’m not sitting here at your disposal you know. So just get over your problems and come running to ME, I NEED people to pamper me, to be there for me. After all, I am ME you know, it’s your duty to come to me. This is ME you are talking to. I am the reason for your happiness ok? Believe that coz that’s the truth about your life, it’s there at my disposal, that’s all it’s there for. But hey, if you ever need advice about how to run your life or you need a critical analysis about how useless you are, just call me. If I’m free, I’ll take out some time to tell you your weaknesses and faults, although it’ll take us quite a lot of time, for there are just so many! But don’t worry, I’ll find some time to tell you how miserable you are, I will really, I consider it as a public service. Hey, hey, hey! Why are you crying? Don’t cry, you aren’t helping me look good in public! People are watching, they’re staring! Stop torturing me with those tears! Come on, do you really need to cry? All I’ve done is told you the truth, nothing else and I’m sure deep down you knew all the time what a waste your life has been! So don’t cry ok? No tears, it doesn’t make me look good.
There’s something else also which I wanna say to you; look, I know that you are feeling miserable but don’t let your misery and gloominess and wretchedness and all your suffering mix up with good health. Good health doesn’t mingle well with these feelings of self-contempt. You know what you need? No not the open skies or anything, that’s for birds. You need to shut yourself up in a small room if you are ever feeling like you are in good health, just shut yourself up and crawl up in a corner ok? That’s the right thing for you to do. I, of course can roam around in the open. After all, people love me and look up to me. Without me they are lost, so I need to stay out in the open and enjoy life, you know, to give others a good sense of direction. But you, you need to find a small, dark and dank corner for yourself and crawl up in it and stay there. You really need it!
What do you mean this is over? This dialogue is not over till I stop talking. What do you mean this is not a dialogue? Of course it’s a dialogue, I’m talking and you are listening. There are two sides to a dialogue and these are it ok? This is a Dialogue!
Dialogue of an Egotist by Nitin Khanna is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Non-Commercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 India License.
Based on a work at nitinthewiz.wordpress.com.