in Compilations

The Great American Cheeseburger.

So here I was, standing with some friends at a McDonald’s in Boulder, Colorado and we’re excited at knowing that there’s a whole menu for just about a dollar for us poor Indian students 🙂
We stalk the lady at the counter asking her about the various options we had and we settled on the Cheeseburger as it seemed the most vegetarian and superbly cheap! We then asked her about the ingredients of the cheeseburger to confirm our suspicion that we had found a veg burger in the heart of one of America’s greatest junk food joints! She told us that the Cheeseburger has cucumber, pickles, onion and cheese.
Cheese.
Cheese.
Our ears were ringing and our blood pressure shot through the roof thinking about cheese. We quickly ordered three cheeseburgers and a large coke(another dollar~fixed price for any size) and received our order, filled up our coke, picked up some ketchup and sat down.

The first thing I noticed when we sat down was that the cover of the burger said something odd. It said “100% Pure Beef”.

As I looked at the packed burger and then at the happy faces of my friends, I felt a bit of guilt but I pushed it away and waited with bated breath. They opened the packages and dug their first bites into the burger. They looked at me and I looked at them. I was perplexed at their reaction, either they were supposed to react crazily to the taste of beef or smile at me and tell me that it’s really tasty. But they looked perplexed and were probably wondering why I was not biting into my cheeseburger! I slowly asked them how the burger felt. They responded in the affirmative. I noticed that there was a tikki(cutlet) in the burger. From past experiences in South Africa, I knew that in meat-eating countries, a tikki in a burger is bad news for vegetarians.

So, I got up and went to the lady at the counter and asked her a simple question- Does this burger have beef in it?

She slowly, sweetly, responded- Yes.

Ugh.

I was holding cow’s meat in my hands. I went back to my friends who had dropped their delicious burgers due to my suspicions and told them that there was beef in the burger.

They looked at me wide-eyed. Religion was in question here! They had just bitten into beef! A few remarkable reactions later, we were still confused about what to do. Then, a kind lady sitting next to us asked us what our problem was and told us to be firm and ask for the Manager and ask for a replacement.

We went to the counter, asked for the Manager, explained what our religion states and got the burgers replaced.

My appetite was dead by now and I just ordered a coke(another dollar down the drain) and finished it in peace.

For this strange reason, it wasn’t a typical ending to a day. After all, we had just experienced what the Real American Cheeseburger is all about!

  • Whatever

    How can you be so dumb to not know what a cheeseburger is made up of ??

    • Unfortunately, my dear “Whatever”, we Indians are very objective when it comes to food. If it says Cheeseburger, it has cheese. Sad state of affairs, isn’t it?? 🙂

  • Whatever

    People do come out to different countries but remain illiterate and above all, write a post which portray ” See, what a fool I am”. .. and I am sure, the rest of the population isn’t like you in there…
    P.S- Even the BigMac doesnt say it’s made of beef, you gotta be intelligent..

    • Ah! Illiterate-no. Ignorant-Yes. Hungry-Heck yeah!!!

      And if you read between the lines, there’s a part which says clearly that the Lady was explicitly asked what the burger has and has responded very clearly all the while omitting a very important ingredient!

      And ya, a lot of Indians are very cautious about their food choices. They’re not so hungry at the end of a hard day though! That’s the position I and my friends were in then! 🙂

  • Nkh

    Dude.

    Haven’t u learned anything from me?

    It happened to me and I clearly told u the incident.

    • Dude!

      Haven’t you read the post properly??

      I did NOT eat the burger.

      The only issue I have is that I let my friends have it… I looked at the cover and the tikki inside and immediately rejected it.

      Oh and just in case you’re wondering…. Nah, I don’t rem you telling me about your incident!!! 🙂

  • Whatever

    Dude, Its not a tikki, its a patty… for god’s sake **stop** being a jerk.

    • Dude, I’ve mentioned that tikki is also called patty…

      And seriously, I’m not being a jerk but thanks for the feedback…