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Sabji Acchi Bani Hai – Part 2

Scene 2
(Rahul goes home to his wife. Setting: Home, with a few chairs. The IT office is in the background, covered by only a thin veil, as if to depict that life always revolves around the office.)

Rahul: Rajjo darling, kaisi ho? Din kaesa tha?
Rajjo: Hai! Pucho mat! Kitna kaam tha aaj! Tang ho gayi main to!
Rahul (to the audience, as though talking to himself): Lagta hai aaj hi Shanky ka paintra lagane ka mauka mil gaya.
Rahul (to Rajjo): Oho! Darling maine to aaj tumhe bahar le ke jaane ka plan banaya tha. Chalo, ab cancel karna padega.
Rajjo (looking tired): Accha? Haan, rehne do. Main sachmuch mein bahut tired hun.
Rahul (to audience): Abey, ye to maani nahi. Lagta hai full force attack karna padega!
Rahul (to Rajjo): Accha Darling? Chalo koi baat nahi. Main Shanky aur Preeto ko phone kar deta hun ki hum nahi aa rahe.
Rajjo (getting angry): Arey tumne mere se bina puche plan kaise bna liya? Tumhe pta nahi chalta kya ki ghar pe kitna kaam hota hai? Kam se kam ek phone hi kar lete ki mera mood hai ki nahi! Ab nahi jaenge to bura lagega. Main taiyaar ho ke aati hun. (exit Stage Left)
Rahul (to audience): Abey shit! Ab to ye ready bhi ho rahi hai aur gussa bhi ho gayi! Agar ab bola ki plan cancel to main to (enacting a noose around his neck). Lagta hai Shanky ke saath plan banana hi padega (exit Stage Right, taking out phone and calling Shanky)

(Shanky’s place. Setting: Dining Room. Shanky just got home after a long day in the office. Preeto already has dinner ready, is setting the table)
Shanky: Preeto meri jaan! Aaj to badi haseen lag rahi ho!
Preeto: Aji flirt karna rehne do, tumhe jhoot bolna shobha nahi deta (continues setting the table)
Shanky (to audience): Abey, main to bhool hi gaya (snaps his fingers), reverse psychology!
Shanky (to Preeto): Darling, khaane mein kya hai?
Preeto (seeming upset): Aaj time nahi tha, sirf daal aur tinde banaye hain.
Shanky: Accha, zara taste to karun (takes a spoonful of dal and eats it. His face lights up as it is very tasty). Arrey wah!
Preeto: Lo, tumhe to ye ghatiya si daal bhi pasand aa gayi. Tumhara taste bahut ganda hai.
Shanky: Arrey nah!
Preeto: Hain, kya?
Shanky: Arey meri Preeto, itna galat karti ho tum. Tumhe sharam nahi aati kya?
Preeto (getting angry): Hain, maine kya galat kiya?
Shanky: Arrey nahi nahi, main to ye keh raha tha ki tum time pass ke liye hi itna accha khaana bna leti ho, mujhe to hotel ke khaane ki aadat hi nahi rahegi. Galat baat hai na?
Preeto: Accha, ab main khaana accha banaun to bhi tumhe problem hai? Waise jhoot bolte rehte ho, aaj maine itni mehnet kari hai to tumhe khaana ‘kam’ accha chahiye? (starts sobbing, shifts to Stage Left Forward) Isse accha to main Mummy ke paas hi chali jaati hun!
Shanky (to audience): Arrey pta tha! Ye Khanna ke plan hamesha fail hote hain! Phas gaya re!
(Shanky’s phone rings. It’s Rahul, who can be seen in the background at Stage Left Back)
Shanky: Haan bol Rahul
Rahul: Yaar panga pai gaya. Rajjo bahar aane ko taiyaar to ho rahi hai, par is liye kyunki maine usse kaha ki tu aur Preeto bhi aa rahe hain. Aur yaar, bade gusse mein hai! Please Preeto ko le ke aaja yaar.
Shanky: Abey yaar, yahan bhi plan backfire kar gaya hai. Abhi agar maine bahar ke khaane ka zikr bhi kiya, to Preeto to mujhe chodd ke maike chali jaegi.
Rahul: Abey yaar, aese mat bol! Ab agar maine Rajjo ko bahar nahi khilaya to meri to kabar hi milegi. Kuch kar yaar, kuch kar!
Shanky: Yaar iss changul se bachne ka ek hi tareeka hai. Tu Rajjo ko mere ghar le aa. Uski outing bhi ho jaegi aur tum log aa ke Preeto ke khaane ki tareef karna taki vo bhi khush ho jae.
Rahul: Dude, mast idea hai! Main bas abhi le ke aaya Rajjo ko!
(They cut the call and Rahul exits. Just as Shanky is about to go to Preeto, his phone rings again. This time, Sumit appears on the other end.)
Shanky: Bol Bansi
Sumit: Yaar badi problem ho gayi. Shanno pe maine Khanne ki reverse psychology try kari to vo to gussa hi ho gayi. Tere yahan le aun? Preeto se thoda baat karegi to shayad thodi thandi ho jae. Kya kehta hai?
Shanky: Haan, tu bhi aaja. Rahul ne bhi abhi phone kiya ki uska bhi plan fail ho gaya. Vo bhi Rajjo ko yahan le ke aa raha hai. Bas ek condition hai.
Sumit: Vo kya?
Shanky: Preeto gussa ho rakhi hai ye soch ke ki mujhe uska ghar ka khaana pasand nahi. Tujhe aur Shanno ko uski badi tareef karni hogi. Done?
Sumit: Done hi done hai dost! Mujhe to waise hi Preeto ke haath ka khaana bada pasand hai.
Shanky: Chal vadiya pher. Aaja tu bhi. Main tab tak Preeto ko manata hun.

 

Scene 3
(Two days later, at the office. Shanky and Sumit walk in from Stage Left, both smiling. They are talking about something but the audience can’t hear what they’re saying. Rahul walks in from Stage Right and Sahil from Stage Left. Rahul is also beaming like Shanky and Sumit. They both reach Stage Center, where they meet Shanky and Sumit.)
Sahil: Arrey wah bhaiyon! Tum sab to khushi ki unchaiyon pe udd rahe ho! Thoda flight land kar ke mujhe bhi batao ki majra hai kya?
Shanky (keeping a hand on Sahil’s shoulder): Dost, bas kya bataein, life mein sukuun waali shanti ho gayi hai.
Sumit: Haan yaar Khanne, Khanne ka reverse psychology waala paintra chal hi gaya.
Rahul: Starting mein thodi dikkat hui thi, par yaar, life ab ekdum chill ho gayi hai!
Shanky: Abey waise Khanne, dusra Khanna hai kahan? Dikha hi nahi do din se.
Sahil: Haan dude, I’ve also not seen him. Pta nahi kahan hai. Kal to usne Out Of Office dala tha aur aaj bhi late ho gaya hai.
Sumit: Lo, speak of the evil and aa gaya vo.
Rahul: Abey Shakespeare ke kaatil, ab English ke muhavron ki bhi lega tu? Evil nahi, Devil!
Sumit: Haan, vo hi, vo hi.
(Everyone turns to Stage Left. Nitin enters. He has a bruised lip, black eye, tousled hair and is walking with a crutch)
Sahil: Abey yaar, ye kya ho gaya tujhe? Kisne teri ye halat kar di?
Shanky: Abey pit-pita gaya kya? Kisi ne wallet lootne ke chakkar mein teri izzat loot li?
Sumit: Abey tum logon ko mazaak sooj raha hai? Nitin Baba ko gehri chot aayi hai. Abey Khanne, bta to, ye kisne kiya?
(Nitin reaches Stage Center and goes ahead towards the audience)
Nitin:… (says something unintelligible)
Shanky: Hain, kya kaha?
Rahul: Abey tu bol yaar! Teri wajah se hamari life set ho gayi hai, tu jise bolega pakad ke peet denge! (with this, he slaps Nitin on the back, causing him to shout in pain)
Nitin: Abey haath mat laga yaar, har jagah se dukhta hai!
Sumit: Chalo awaaz to waapis aayi.
Sahil: Haan bhai, ab bol. Ye hashr kisne kiya tera?
Nitin: Abey rehne do yaar, jaane do…
Rahul: Arrey aese kaise jaane den? Hamare dost ko koi hurt kare, ye hum nahi sahenge. Tu naam batata hai ya dun ek aur shaabashi? (he raises his hand)
(Nitin gets scared and moves away from Rahul)
Nitin: Nahi, nahi! Batata hun be. J-Jeeto ne…
Everyone (in shock): Kya? Kya keh raha hai be?
Nitin: Haan yaar, sach.
Shanky: Abey teri reverse psychology se hamari to aish ho gayi, tune kya kiya?
Nitin: Kya bataun yaar, tum logon ko advice dene ke baad maine socha main bhi try kar leta hun, dekhta hun kya hoga.
Sahil: Phir?
Nitin: Phir kya yaar? Vo kahavat suni hai na, “Don’t try to fix what isn’t broken”? Bas, ye samajh lo ki mera Honeymoon period khatam aur Typhoon period shuru!

(Curtain)